I always believed it took just four weeks to change a habit, but it turns out I was wrong. A few weeks ago, we had a training session in our office on the “lies we tell ourselves”, otherwise known as personal bias, led by the brilliant Dulcie Swanston. She pointed out that, on average, it actually takes 66 days to solidify a habit. She also made the intriguing observation that the more intelligent you are, the stronger your personal bias tends to be—which makes it hard to argue! So, we’re either unintelligent and unbiased, or smart and biased. What a choice!
Habits are arguably the most important factor in hospitality. Our routines form the backbone of everything we do. When these habits are well-formed, new team members adopt them effortlessly, almost without thinking. It’s a great place to be when your habits are strong, but a terrible situation when they aren’t.
To change a habit, it takes around 10 weeks—and even longer for part-time staff. This requires significant effort, but it’s necessary. The key lesson from the 66-day rule is that trying to implement too many changes at once often leads to failure. Instead, we need to slow down, focus on fewer changes, and make sure they stick.
I also follow the rule of three. Make three changes, implement them fully, and then move on to the next set of three. By dividing the year into terms, you have three chances to implement three new habits each term, resulting in nine new habits a year.
Nine new habits will make a massive difference. If I were to pick nine for the industry based on my experience, I would pick:
1 – Smiling: The first article I ever wrote was about the power of a smile, and it still holds the top spot for our teams. A genuine smile creates an immediate connection with guests, sets the tone for positive interactions, and reinforces the warm, welcoming atmosphere we strive for in hospitality.
2 – Hellos and Goodbyes: There’s nothing worse than being ignored when you arrive or leave. A warm, enthusiastic greeting sets a positive tone for the guest’s experience from the start, while a cheerful goodbye leaves a lasting impression.
3 – “OK”: I can’t stand this word. We don’t aim to deliver an “OK” experience; we want to offer a great one. So why do we ask guests if “everything is OK”? It’s lazy and disengaged, like a quick pass-by. Instead, we should be more thoughtful—ask if they’re enjoying their meal or if they’d like another glass of wine. That’s real service.
4 – Full out, full in: The number of team members I see drop off something and then pass by lots of empty plates, glasses and customers on the way back is immeasurable. Think of the efficiency if we got it right.
5 – Fact Finding: We all remember those wonderful experiences where someone showed genuine interest in us. Simple questions like, “are you celebrating something special?” or “how far have you travelled?” can spark connections. I don’t care what the questions are; just ask something!
6 – Ask them before they have to ask you: When a drink is empty, or nearly empty, it is pretty obvious. Time to make the suggested sell. Can I get you another? Obviously, “are you OK for drinks?” is banned!
7 – 4-foot rule: This is a rule Walmart certainly used to have. If you are within 4 feet, say hello and smile, even if you are on your way elsewhere. The guest will understand and will be grateful for the contact.
8 – Eye contact: In the modern world, eye contact is even more essential. It creates a connection that makes such a difference. I once asked the bar team to tell each other the colour of the customer’s eyes.
9 – Restaurant eyes: This is perhaps the hardest, but there is nothing worse than trying to get someone’s attention and they never look at you. Scanning your section is a part of the job.
If we could make these nine service habits stick, imagine how much better, and busier we would be!